Thursday, February 28, 2008
I believe that it is precisely periods like these that define my college experience and make me ever so happy to be alive:
Riding the post-show euphoria of 'well-done's and 'good job's, actually having time to attend random events (like Sophomore Skimmer tonight and a talk by BILL CLINTON tomorrow! Im excited), meetups with long neglected friends for lunch and Spring Break preparations, and of course: you, you, you. :)
The show itself was amazing: We had a decent Friday crowd and a sell-out Saturday. Everything went by so quickly, bringing back reminiscent memories from 2 Rapture concerts back in high school. Quick costume changes, stinky changing rooms, blasting hip-hop as we danced around in our underwear for behind the scenes cameras. Not doing a single.bit.of.work during hellweek.
Painfully embarrassing videos on stage (I swear: every Asian girl probably thinks I'm gay) Stage lights of white, red, purple. The infectious, amazing, screaming crowd, yelling out your name and waving signs. The roar of delight when they saw us bounding on stage, half naked, with coconuts strapped to our bodies. Hahaha. And the dancing. The actual dancing on the stage, doing that one move we've been perfecting for the past 5 months, gone in a flash, but perfectly executed. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Even the merciless tinikling sticks seemed slower, giving me time to anticipate, think, look up into the audience and smile. :)
Smiling. Post concert, with flowers and group photos and back-pats. "Thank you for coming and hope you enjoyed the show"s, jokes with silly half-grins ("I swear: I'm not gay. Really!") Recounting, over and over and over again, just which parts the audience loved.
I also have to make the announcement that I, seemingly infallible, heartless, commitment phobic, cynical, flirtatious (haha, or so I think), heartbreaking, fickle and fussy me has succumbed and has had my heart stolen, by the one squirrel-looking girl I've ever wanted in Penn. :)
And its been bliss, pure bliss. Without the risk of this post falling into the trap of self-indulgency... oh, who am I kidding, it already has. Pancakes in the morning, pair profile pictures, coffee on my walkshift, engaging, silly conversations, and blissful, cuddly mornings that make me never want to get out of bed.
I know I sound disgustingly happy and positively glowing, but I don't care.
Now... perhaps I should get some work done for those 4 midterms next week.
he rocked the party at 1:07 AM |
Monday, February 18, 2008
Hellweek for shows is always marked by a paradox. On one hand, spending entire nights from 5 to midnight in the theatre everyday is incredibly fun: Sitting in the audience, surrounded by intoxicating music and watching these wonderful performances over and over again, yelling out "FORMATIONS!! SHARP! SHARP!!", running on stage when its your turn, and of course..
Dancing. The pleasure of dancing on stage over and over and over again, relishing the feel of the stage beneath my feet, big silly grins to the audience as if the seats were filled with hundreds of roaring fans, basking in the stage lights, the attention and the (imagined) fame. Pure adrenaline.
Not to mention the camaraderie: take-away dinners on stage, typing on laptops beside fellow dancers, horsing around knocking each other's coconuts. (its a prop... nuff said.)
On the other hand, I never get ANY work done, no matter how hard I try. I have a major paper due and am behind in all my classes. I think im getting more and more distracted as I get older. Blearggghhhh.
Not that I'm really caring at the moment though. :)
he rocked the party at 7:59 PM |
Sunday, February 17, 2008
"You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive"
- "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin
Surreal, so surreal.
he rocked the party at 6:44 PM |
Friday, February 15, 2008
I wish things were simpler. I wish I'd acted earlier. I wish you weren't so perfect. I wish it was simply pure, superficial puppy dog attraction.
But seriously, I can't help falling in like with you.
(do something about it)
he rocked the party at 1:46 AM |
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
"Work is so much more fun when you're not actually doing it"
- Ting, in response to our incessant procrastination on gchat when we're supposed to be doing work.
"Lionel wishes he could just screw priorities and responsibilities... they would be really fun in bed." - My facebook status
"What does E(u|X=0) = 0 mean? Is it:
a) u and X live apart
b) u and X went to the movies last night
c) u and X are independent
d) u and X are mean independent"
- What my Econometrics professor wrote on the board. Seriously. Word for word.
he rocked the party at 1:46 AM |
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Whoohoo!
Tickets from me!
he rocked the party at 10:56 AM |
Sometimes, post clubbing activities can be even more fun than the club itself.
After the Club SG CNY dinner, and a night out with Pan-Asian/Pennyo/CSA people to the aKDPhi party at Shampoo (omg, that's 5 Asian organizations mentioned in one sentence; that has to be some sort of record), there is nothing cooler than a crazyhappy cabhunt, 40 nuggets at McDonald's, and the ultimate kicker:
Monopoly till 6 in the morning! Esp when the company is oh-so-amazing, and you get to build hotels :)
And then that leaves me with 2.5 hours of sleep before 9am practice on Sunday morning.
But it was certainly damn worth it.
he rocked the party at 10:38 AM |
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Somehow, Spring semester is, and will always be, the season for silly, old fashioned, totally irrational, foolishly idealistic, puppy dog love.
I remember last year's tingly feelings, the drama, the hesitant lunch outings, the "i think you know what i think i'm thinking" thoughts, the valentine's day roses. It all seems so silly now. She and I are now good friends: I tell her how to shrug off stalkers, and she comes over to drink, quiz me on Cosmopolitan articles, and we laugh about our (okay, my) idiotic perceptions on dating.
And then, after a blissful semester of work, activities and downright debauchery - flutterby feelings return again with a vengeance. With a new someone. Perhaps it is the weather, the incessant hope that although its still FRICKIN COLD now, Spring is around the corner. Perhaps its the knowledge that graduation is coming - a final, desperate attempt for people to attach some sort of significant emotional attachment to Penn.
Or perhaps, perhaps, feelings of flutterby are just that: little fluttery squiggles of warmth that stealthily find their way into your throat, your tummy, and your heart when you least expect it, or even when you don't want them too.
As clear cut in my attitudes about commitment-free, clear-cut dating are, flutterbies screw up my mind and rational logic, and replace them with something that is wonderfully pleasurable, yet utterly confusing.
You know that by doing something about it, the possibility of heartbreak is high, and the friendship becomes awkward at best. (if things do not turn out well). But you also know that with flutterbies in your tummy, being "just friends" will never be a stable equilibrium for the demand and supply of your emotions (haha - econ major talking), at least, not for now anyway.
So what do you do? You wait. You wait in the hope of communicating a signal, as nonchalant as a friend would give, yet obvious enough to display that you want more than that. And you try desperately to look for a sign, any sign, that the other party feels the same way. And when the sign(s) do come, you wonder if you're reading too much into things.
Damn you, flutterbies.
he rocked the party at 11:46 AM |
