Sunday, September 19, 2004
if i had one wish, i'd wish that these two years would whizz by in a flash, that i wouldnt have to wait, and wait, and wait, and waitttt for September 2006, when i shall, (hopefully) by jetting off to lovely Philadelphia, PA in the US of A, with its huge harry potter castle-like halls, vibrant social life, melting pot of cultures, traditions, jazz, art, and fun!
(yes deb, and you being there already is a huge plus point. I didnt forget you! haha)
Oh, to be free and independant amongst the best and the brightest.
i seem to be thinking alot about it these days. The anxiety of being rejected is pervading my mind. There are so many things to do, and so many things could go wrong! My SAT 2 is coming up in less than three weeks, and i definately do not feel as prepared as i should. Though mugging at mcdonald's these past two weekends has certainly brought back happy memories of past jc-mugging days. :) Army is not helping either. I was hoping that OCS would give me a few hours of free time every day, so perhaps i could catch up on work in those lovely SAFTI bunks which are oh-so-great for mugging with its desktop lamps, good ventilation and sun streaming through the windows. (Xialan officers yelling down the corridors are a big downside tho..) But nope, i have to spend my free time doing dumb things like talc-ing maps, preparing an ops order, servicing my SBO, doing area cleaning, doing stores, or studying for even dumber things like the GPMG's effective range, principals of defence, and platoon movement.
Dont get me wrong, those are really interesting stuff, its just that i feel i have more important things to do, a more important purpose out there in the civilian world. I wanna study, and study hard, to get the qualifications and rewards. I want to get down to my to-do checklist on the application to Penn, i want to write inspiring and engaging essays on my laptop, (which i dont have) basking in the evening sun and sea breeze of the Esplanade to break down any writer's block, i want to improve my chinese by working in a chinese company, i want to keep in contact with past tutors in school so they'd write glowing testimonials for me, i want to research more on campus life in Penn, pick up a new sport, learn to drive, go for dance classes, take part in hip-hop competitions.. and ah, just do what im meant to do.
i seriously cant wait for NS to end. Friends overseas tell me about what a ball of a time they're having there, studying hard on weekdays, and on weekends, going for 4 hour drives to NY, Washington, Boston.. kinda reminds me of that Soo Kee advertisment where all the ladies are in pink.. haha i dunno.
Will they ever let me have enough time to pursue this dream of mine? Half of it is accomplished.. thanks to SIA.. i hope the other half wont fall flat. As the coordinator at SIA remarked, "it'll be quite embarrassing for us to sponsor anyone to study in NUS, NTU or SMU..you work so hard to get a scholarship, and end up studying the same stuff as any other singaporean?" True, true.
Doesnt help that the Wharton School of business (where im hoping to go), accepts like 0.0001% if Singaporeans. Ah.. the best things never came easy now did they? I guess in the international arena, 4 As dont mean much. Wharton Wharton Wharton.. its my biggest dream yet. In the past, i've always been able to achieve my dreams, impossible as they may be, as long as i knew i wanted them and worked like crazy to get them. Will this be one of them? I hope so.. anything's possible i guess. Do wish me luck, dear reader.
(on a sidenote, i'm cadet platoon commander this week for OCS, the equivalent of platoon i/c back in hendon. im pretty nervous about it, since i dont know half the things i should know about ocs, nor have i been i/c for more than a day at a time before. you see the dumb things i need to put up with here in the army? dammit. I live in the future and in the past.. the present's just dumb)
(another sidenote: i shall be doing a night parachute jump this friday, the last one i need to do to get my red beret! Hope that in two weeks nice pics of shuai-looking lionel in his red beret will be uploaded here.. hee hee. Its my blog man, i'm entitled to self-indulgence)
he rocked the party at 2:44 AM |
