Thursday, August 24, 2006
In less than 24 hours time, I'll be on a plane, half watching some random movie, gazing down wistfully at the twinkling lights of Singapore, feeling the heart stopping sense of excitement, anxiety, and that little pang of sadness when it comes to goodbyes.
I felt that pang today, as I had my favourite ban mian and satay dinner with my dad at ang mo kio, taking in the sights of ah lians and aunties alike squatting on pavements. I felt it as I was strolling down Orchard, passing businessmen who avoid your gaze, tourists who take pictures at the taka fountain (although I dont see why the heck they would wanna do that. Its so damn ugly), the metrosexual yuppie who smiles at nothing at all behind his humonguous shades. I felt it during cocktails with Debbie at Mezzebar, when her requested song "Home" by Michael Buble was played.
Aragh, why do I only notice the little things NOW?
Its the most surreal feeling in the world, being excited at the prospect of a whole new life, culture and (long awaited) freedom, yet being sad at the same time at the thought of leaving so much behind. Its weird seeing all your friends move on with their lives, being involved in dance competitions, hall activities, parties (I dunno how many "I'll be going clubbing with my uni friends tonight"s I've heard this past week).
Its like being in suspended animation while watching the rest of society evolve into something totally different. And yes, I admit that I'm afraid. I'm afriad that when I return, all fresh from seeing the world, that things will change in such a way that I wouldnt be able to fit in properly anymore. That all the past experiences, glories, friendships would be but a distant memory. I would have gained some of my own as well, but I sure as hell do not want to lose what I have right now.
They say going overseas makes you appreciate home more. Yes, its true. Sigh.
Having said that, I'm also wildly excited. I've been dreaming about this day for more than 2 years now, and as much as I say how mahfan it is to start a whole new life ("aiyo.. must apply for new phoneline, bank account, go shopping for dorm room..) I'm actually looking forward to experiencing it all, all part of the take-life-by-the-horns mentality y'know?
I'm gonna have to study amongst the best and the brightest, go grocery shopping, party with the wildest, and do my own laundry (washing the puke off my clothes, undoubtedly), all in the same day. I'm going to have to travel as much as I can, meet new people from all over the world, and sample their food while listening to stories of how someone's parents escaped from the KGB or how they help the homeless in Bangalore. I'm going to dance alongside Koreans, African-Americans, Hispanics and white boys. I'm going to have to speak up in class, despite having not studied for the past 10,000 years, and still engage my international classmates in debate. And honestly, its probably my last chance to have my last grasp of fun and freedom before the reality of Singapore's corporate world hits me in the face. (Well, I've worked a little, and I can honestly say that I'm in no hurry to venture back into the office)
But of course, all that wouldnt mean a thing if I didnt have friends to share it with, friends to call and complain how ugly the girls here are, friends to chill and club with during summer breaks, and friends to visit during chinese new year after we're all old, married and fat. So this post, dear reader, is dedicated to you.
You, who has stood by this blog since its inception 3 years ago, who bothers enough to know whats going on in this silly, crazy life of mine to keep reading, whom I can truly call "lifelong friend". The phrase "Dont forget me" has more meaning to me than you think, so dont be surprised if I tell it to you once too often.
So... in the words of Douglas Adams, "So long, and thanks for all the fish."
(In case anyone's thinking of sending me off with big banners and bouquets of flowers, my flight is SQ26 departing Friday 25th August 2350 from Terminal 2. I should be checking in around 9.30pm. I promise you your surprise arrival will not go unrewarded! Hahaha.. shameless, aint I?)
he rocked the party at 9:19 AM |
