Thursday, January 19, 2006
I just heard on the news the other day that they're thinking of conducting another drill exercise to test the responsiveness of our healthcare personnel in the event of a bird flu outbreak. Ah yes, I can see it now.. just like Ex Northstar V, i'm sure it'll be a raging success with media coverage in the Straits Times, Lianhe Zaobao, the New Paper, Army News, Friday Weekly and FHM.
Now why was Ex Northstar V such a success? Well first of all, it was really realistic because it was conducted in the wee hours of a Sunday morning, when there's no-one taking public transport. And we all know that despite 911 and the London bombings which happened during peak hours, I'm sure some influential person (no doubt a retired SAF colonel with nothing better to do) had negotiated with Osama and Co. and agreed that in the event that they DO attack Singapore, it wont be during rush hour so as to "minimize disruptions."
They will also give us ample warning, like telling us the attack will come "either this weekend or next", because only Robert Langdon would be able to crack that code and deduce that the painfully obvious answer would be the earlier time. The rest of us would be totally clueless and gasp in surprise when it DOES come, and everyone would pat Robert Langdon on the back and tell him how clever he really is, and he should really have someone write a bestseller novel about his adventures.
Speaking about back patting, I'm sure they'll feature lots of high ranking scdf/police/army/and in this case, healthcare personnel on Army News telling each other what a great job each other's agency had done. To ensure diversity and all-roundedness in the interviewees, they'd also feature some Corporals giving robotic, rehearsed, politically-correct answers, while his high-ranking Media Officer looks menacingly from behind the reporter. (I know, because I've done it before. Menacing glares does wonders for the complexion.)
I suppose they'll also get several recruits to play the casualties, just like how they did it in Northstar V, where a bunch of botaks with bloody make up stepped into the train and warned everyone what was about to happen. I wonder how they're gonna simulate bird flu.
They'd probably get a couple of guys in chicken suits to start sneezing in the middle of Orchard Road.
he rocked the party at 6:49 AM |
