Friday, May 27, 2005
First came the uneasiness and the fear
That i'd thought i'd left so far behind
Through distant msgs and uncomfortable silences
I hated the feelings... but i didnt dare ask, for fear of something worse to come.
Then came the revelation, a misty and blurred one no doubt, but a revelation nonetheless.
Then the heartache and the pain hit
The realization that... we weren't on the same wavelength.
Something had to be done, had to be sacrificed.
It hurt me deeply, to give up just a mere 7 days, but 7 days can seem like a lifetime.
Or perhaps it was the thought that you werent feeling the same hurt, or that u wouldnt really know what kind of suffering i'd have to go through..
that hurt even more.
I didnt understand then, and i still dont.
How it could come so suddenly, and how feelings could change in the blink of an eye.
You say it isnt me, but is it really?
The sleepless night was spent on short dreams of you, and the day was spent in stony silence, against the background of friends' laughter.
I wouldnt have survived 7 days.
Thankfully, i didnt have to.
The gift of cookies today brought new promises, and interesting perspectives.
Its true, perhaps i'd given too much of my life to you, (the recent blog entries are telling) and that we'd moved way too fast.
You need your space, and i need mine.
Is it really possible to turn back time?
Can we really go back to those (short-lived) days of innocence, before the whirlwind started?
Can i really date you again, and win your heart over all over again?
The answer my dear, is YES.. if that makes you happy.
Just promise me that you wont break my heart.. and i'll do whatever it takes, and take as long as we want it to.. no pressures, no overwhelming love.
As long as it makes you happy.
(i declare.. that one day they're gonna turn this story into a movie, probably a romantic comedy starring ashton kutcher or something. And no, ashton kutcher is NOT a compliment)
he rocked the party at 5:32 AM |
