Sunday, November 07, 2004
The suckiest thing about being a commando is not the training, the misguided perceptions about the dunking case, or the burnt weekends. No dear reader, the suckiest thing about being a commando is living up to the expectations people have of you.
Especially in ocs.
From day 1, we have been the target of instructors' sneering and proclamations that they "dont like commandos" Every little mistake in training, like failing to light a safety fuse using a diagonal cut, or not being able to strip an 84mm gun in the required time, or whatever. Or doing 48 sit-ups during IPPT (when the others did an average of 45) and being sneered at not doing 50. "Hah.. ch** b** commando, i'm going to mark you already, cause your attitude is f***ed up" Or running 9.19 for my 2.4km run, and not achieving commando gold for IPPT, and having to come back during block leave for an IPPT re-test, while others who ran 9.30 get to stay at home. (the standard for infantry gold is 9.45, while that for commando gold is 9.15. Missed it by four seconds! sheesh.)
Every little screw-up is blown out of proportion, with some (irritating) cadets sneering "aiyoh.. you commando ley!" Being yelled at for no apparant reason, simply because the red beret is so freakin' obvious from far. Then there are those instructors who, for some unknown reason, just hate our guts. (Maybe cause they're Guards and they're jealous their sandbag beret just doesnt match up to the reds. Or maybe they're still sore they couldnt complete ranger course, or dont have the balls to sign up for it. Whatever.)
Yes its true we ARE given pressure to perform well from our superiors, all in the name of honour of our formation. Yes its true that we share an unbreakable bond with our seniors and each other, which may be perceived as exclusive and elitist from outsiders. Yes its true our seniors come to visit us at night to offer us advice and guidance, and to pass on a huge styrofoam blown-up of our formation crest. Yes its true we all try to stick together and achieve good results in ocs as a cohort.
But commandos are human too. We have our weaknesses, our emotional shortcomings, fatigue and disappointments. And to NSFs like me, it isnt exactly the most important thing in life. In these two years, im prepared to fight hard for it, but there IS a bigger picture in life, and i know that once these two years are up, im going to leave it all behind. Because there is so much more to life. So excuse me if i dont spend every waking moment or all my weekend time doing ops orders or training for SEOC.
Im human, just like anyone else, its just that i've been given the task of living up to the (very difficult) standards set for us. I try my best, and that's good enough for me. So cut me some slack yeah?
he rocked the party at 1:28 AM |
