Sunday, July 11, 2004
I believe this week has had the most ups and downs i've ever faced in such a short time. Im emotionally drained. (and definitely not ready for graded exercise Theodore 1 in Tekong in a few hours time. sigh)
The loss of him came much too suddenly. Im surprised at how i feel about it. Am i really that heartless? I know that i'd feel more remorseful if i was younger, cause i was much closer to him then. But now, with all the distractions and irritants of life, maybe his importance to me faded away a little? And now its too late to make it up.. i just hope that he knows, that even though i dont show it, he holds a place in my heart. But even so, maybe im hiding it a little too well. Been acting quite the bastard for this episode, and on purpose too. Perhaps its just that i have too many things to do, or that i dont wanna think about it and focus on them. In any case, i ask for forgiveness.. Im sorry i dont feel as remorseful as i should, i feel more for those who grieve, and that's what's preventing me from being a total ass. Perhaps when everything's settled down, and i realise fully the meaning of his absence, thats when it'll hit me totally.
Dear reader, if you dont understand what i just wrote, dont worry. You're not supposed to. Just needed to type it out.
On a lighter note, my hair grew longer! I can actually spike it a little with gatsby wax now.. -sniff sniff- ahh.. love the smell of the wax.. reminds me of my SAJC days
Unfortunately, i dont look as good as i should have been, because i got bitten by sandflies again! At least four big ones have appeared on my left cheek, scarring me once again.. crap. At least these look like they'll heal faster than the previous batch.. please dont let me get any more during Theodore.. i'll just die from ugliness. We had night's out on Wednesday night and i almost died from the shame of appearing in Tampines mall with my jumbo red ears and pimply sandfly bite face. Chienling's such a darling, to be able to hold my hand and tell me im still good-looking. If there's a test to tell whether your partner is superficial or not, this is it. You are such a darling, dear, to see beyond the ugliness and imperfections, and i love you for it. :)
I think the SOC cheating incident was quite bastardy. All it took is for one idiot to destroy all the trust and hard work we've so carefully built up for the past week. But maybe he has his own side of the story. I dunno.
Went back to College Day, and it was a dream come true! You know how i always wanted to stand proudly on stage while the emcee describes your achievements? Well, okay so i wasnt prepared for such a long description, so i was a little taken aback by the attention, but heck, its a hell of an ego boost. -grin- Watching my favourite tutor talk in the video was a real pleasure too. Cheers to you, Ms Lee! And dont get me started on watching our favourite dance society -grin- Pure ecstacy, as always. Am so proud of you guys.
Spoke to some of the incoming 27th as well, and whaddayaknow, the next PRO is from Trust, is from SJI, is handsome, and was my trainee in Scouts! The tradition of good-looking, member of Trust PROs still carries on..hahaha! To the 27th, good luck! There's a good vibe from this batch, although they need to work on their spontaneity, and Liang Fu and I concluded. -evil grin- Meeting once-close friends, teachers, and of course, our very own Zaki brought back warm fuzzy memories as well. I hope i'll never forget them, and i hope they're not lost forever. "Once a Saint, Always a Saint"? I hope its true.. It was College Day, and i loved every minute of it.
A heartfelt goodbye to one of my closest buddies, Lim Kuan Sian, as he embarks on his exciting journey down under to begin University life! Please, oh please never let anyone else hear your cheer (Give me a Q! Give me a U! What does that spell? QU!! i cant hear you!!..) I'll miss you buddy, but at least its only for four months before you're back. Dont ever forget me.. you've been warned! And of course, to Maddie as well, going to the same place.. im sorry i didnt say bye, but know that i WILL miss you and your nonsense. (no kidding!) Good luck snaring hunky rich Aussie guys!
Fast forward to now, just after a prata supper with about-to-leave-for-upenn-best-friend Debbie.. you never fail to pick my week right up again. :) Maybe you're right about OCS, and i should give it a try. Its not gonna be easy tho, but thanks for inspiring me again.. hee. And im booking you for the next three weeks after i come back from Taiwan!
OK, i better sleep. I need my rest for Theodore 1, if i wanna do well and go to OCS. Hmm, am going to Taiwan next sunday for the next three weeks. Sounds like torture. Do pray for me!
he rocked the party at 9:44 AM |
