Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Happy lunar new year!! Though lunar new year isnt as special to me like Christmas or the New Year (as in 1st jan.. but of course you knew that you smart person you, why am i telling you this?) its still a pretty cheery season ya? Unfortunately, the thrill of receiving ang paos has long been lost, the novelty and excitement have long gone. Wait lemme tell you an embarrassing childhood secret about ang paos.
(now that its on my blog, i suppose its no longer a secret)
Hahah there was a year when i was pretty young, must have been about 10 yrs old or so, and i really loved receiving ang paos, so much so that i took a whole shoebox, stapled ang paos all over it and added a slit at the top. Ta-daah! My very own ang pao box! Whenever we visited a relative or friend, i'd eagerly approach all the adults with my bright red box and urge them to deposit their red packets into the slit, hoping that the ridiculous sight of a small boy carrying a huge red box would entice them to "donate" more. Heh.
There ya go. So cute right? Nowadays i dont even open my red packets until my mum urges me to get them into a bank before the silverfish consume them. Ah, i never got much anyway (haha no, not even with the big red box)
I think i'm getting the hang of boring adult talk though. Remember a long time ago (well it felt like a long time) like last year when we all were wondering how we'd ever communicate with boring distant relatives who probably dont understand half of what you're talking about? (but its okay since we dont understand most of what THEY'RE talking about either) Maybe its cause im going into NS next week, where i supposedly become a MAN. Oh yeah. So perhaps this has helped me gain enlightenment on how to communicate with the evasive and seemingly impenetrable Adult Species.
This is how a typical visit-you-during-new-year conversation may look like. I've come up with a possible scenario and some possible responses which you could utilise. Read carefully and observe the tactics:
Relative: Waaahh! So long havent seen you already!! Wah grow so tall already ah? Last time i saw you was when you were soooo small! Like chi cha (lizard) like that!
You: Yah.. time certainly flies! (a terribly cliched phrase, but it seems to please the adults alot. A chorus of "Oh yeeesss.. of course.." would follow. Of course, you secretly remember that you've seen that relative only last year, and you've only grown like 2 cm. But it doesnt matter.)
Relative: So how are you now ah? Studying? University now right? (of course, they will NEVER remember your age)
You: No, actually im waiting for my NS, im going in next week. (this will keep them occupied for a bit. Their responses will vary, depending on which type of relative you're talking to:)
If relative is a Kancheong Aunty: Aiyoo! NS? So fast ah? Very dangerous know? Must take care of yourself ok? Important thing is to drink lots of water.. etc etc.
You: Ahhh.. Ahhh (i've found that this response is very effective. It can mean "i agree", "i understand" or "tsk tsk, how terrible") Dont worry aunty, I'll take care of myself!
If relative is a Forgetful Aunty/Uncle: Oh issit? Aiyo, now very tough ah? What school you studying in now? (they are sure to come up with a totally irrelevant phrase. It doesnt matter. Summarise what you're really doing again in as few words as possible, then make your excuses and head for the pineapple tarts. This will not seem rude, since they'd forget what you said soon after, and go on about how tough your school is now)
If relative is an Old Jolly Uncle/Talk Alot Uncle: Oh NS.. gonna become a man now yes? Got train or not? Must do some running, some push ups.. I remember in my time, the sargeant was very fierce!.. (this is the easiest of the lot. Let him tell you all about his old NS days, and punctuate the conversation with occasional "Ahhh.. ahhh.."s This will suffice.)
There! A suitable conversation to keep the auntys and uncles happy enough to keep talking while you munch through the new year goodies to relieve your boredom. Simply repeat the process with all those present. And best of all, it'll make them think that you're "such a good boy/girl" that they just might include a few extra bucks in their ang paos. Good yeah?
Disclaimer: This is in no way similar to conversations with MY relatives. I've tried this before at Christmas and they're smart people who saw through my tactics. So i suppose i'll have to come up with a new method.
Happy New Year everyone!
he rocked the party at 8:02 AM |
